ten days can sure make a difference

So, i backed (haha) home.

home? 

yes, home.

i missed it. missed my routine, missed the job, missed my apartment, missed my friends.

we had the Jewish agency conference. a weekend in a hotel looks like it was the location for shooting "The Shining". the carpets, moldy rooms and everything. or how they will say:  "Here's Johnny" i was still a bit sick, but you know what? if to be sick, be sick while in a hotel with all of your friends taking care of you.

Monday we went to NYC!
what can i say? NY NY, it's a hell of a town!
we started the urban week by going to Philly, which isn't NY but was fun.
i had a lot of insights this week.
what can you do in a week? how much can you plan and how much you leave life to just happen to you?
what are the things that are important to me? what can i give up and just go with the flow?
where do i feel calm? what makes me exited?
can i really listen to me?

for the last one at least i got an answer. i can.
some stuff we planed and went well other stuff we didn't plan and sucked. and the other way around as well.
but eventually, i had an amazing week. i walked around a lot, experienced an american culture, drank Goldstar, spent time with friends from here and then, from there and now, i made new friends, laughed, cried and mainly enjoyed. felt like Alice in Wonderland here and there.

so, my somewhat of understandings from this week:
- i'm going to purchase myself a pair of skates for Ice skating.
- i need a go-to place here in the city. somewhere that will make me feel calm.
- gotta have a purpose. and if you don't have one, go to Luci.
- i love my routine
- i didn't gain weight (not too much)
- i miss my life in Israel but know i'm doing good here
- money comes and money goes (that's not new, but true)
- when in a foreign country, get a local phone
- friends are there for you to use them and be useful to them. when it's real friendship you will never feel used.

and the most important one- SMILE!

first time i'm sick

So... obviously i miss home. waking up with stuffy nose, when you can't breath. your mouth is dry, your head pounds. you get dizzy even when you sit down. 

of course the first thing i would want is my mom! 

i miss home made chicken soup. some TLC and just basic attention and love with no conditions.

but there are other things make me miss home. 

the fact that i'm here for 3 months already. the fact that i do kinda starting to feel like home.

i had some visitors here these last few weeks, and walking around with them, showing them "my city", makes me feel like i'v been here long enough to call it mine.

another thing is "my so called life" and those who were in high school in the 90', or know me well enough will understand that...

i miss my friends, the everyday routine, and how easy it is to just call, meet for beer and bitch about everything (or one).

i do really appreciate my friends here. i think i got really lucky, leaving my life behind and still manage to find people i can share my thoughts with and actually care about what they have to say. if they are close by or a phone call away.

but sometimes you just need to talk to someone who knows you for longer than 3 months. even though i talk so much, 3 months will probably be enough.  

for now, i'm trying to keep smiling, as i wish to all.

Home alone 3

So, after 2 weekends in a row of having someone staying over, i'm home alone.

so far i got use to it and found other excuses why i shouldn't be going to the gym. 

then i had guests so i couldn't. 

now i have to think about it all over!

so, today it's that i'm still tired from the weekend.

instead i walked after work to the store where i bought new "winter boots". 

in a second look, they didn't look quite enough for winter.

checking it with the locals they said i was right. 

going back to the store they said i can't get my money back, but just exchange it.

well, next time i should go shopping with a Canadian!

i had such a good time having my friends from home here. each weekend i discovered more sweet spots in the city. going out, drinking and having a blast!!

but now, it's quiet. boring. back to routine. and it is hard! 

i'm finding it harder after they're gone to realize again, i'm far away. for a long time.

keep wanting to have both worlds. knowing it's not possible. 

i hope i get use to life here but at the same time not forget what is it back. and not to be forgotten.

i keep feeling i'm always waiting for the next thing.

next weekend, next conference, next vacation.

but it's not that i suffer at work. 

on the contrary! 

work only get more interesting for me. 

it's not a playground but i'm having fun.

i can also say i'm waiting for the next event, for planning the next thing, to establish my place.

well, someone has sung it before: "nobody said it was easy..."

just had a need to blurb. and to myself as well- keep smiling!